Little shining star

I met this little girl about 2 months ago. She was very irritable at that time because she was sick. Sicker, I mean. Just checking the drip  next to her bed make her screamed and wailed asking the mother to 'shoosh' me haha. She had been diagnosed with acute leukemia with 86% blast cells in her peripheral blood.  She did not like hospital the mother told me. She make the parents sworn not to bring her to hospital after previous admission at PPUM a few months before. To be frank, kind of annoyed with her when she hit her lip to show protest to her parents considering her low platelet count. Continous bleed of course.. But over the time, the warm feeling grew. I'd been reviewed her every morning at pead oncology ward. Kind of sad to leave pead posting mostly  because of her. The chemotherapy started shortly after I was in another posting. Heard from my collegue whom is still in the posting that Zahirah was asking about Dr. Pika to her mother. Zahirah I miss you too haha. Two days before her condition deteriorated that required her to be intubated, I met her. She was rested on her mother's lap looking tired. A small curl around her lip shown and she tried her best to keep it subtle haha. I met her too at Trauma ICU about 1 hour after she passed away due to neutopenic sepsis with multiorgan failure.  Good night, Zahirah sayang 👧🏻

About 4 months later

Assalamuaikum and hello.

It's been a while. I'm currently in my second posting i.e. Pediatrics. Almost 3 weeks maybe idk. The hallmark of this posting is that you'd eventually acknowledged that the Shark doo doo song is really a hits among children. Overrated, yes. Oh and I miss the tranquility I always experienced whenever I stepped into orthopedics ward every morning.

Well there are few things that I had learned to overcome so far. First off, I learnt to tune off to the sound of screaming and wailing babies and toddlers while trying to draw their blood or while inserting iv line. It still give me a bit anxiety whenever I have to do one though. But over the time, I finally became merciless to those sounds haha. Second, I will never trust the parents to hold their child firmly while I am trying to poke their children again because they're basically too...hmm what's a nice word to mention? Fragile. Too fragile. They will act like they were holding their child limbs so that you can poke the needle into the veins but in the mean time, they will just let it go. So lesson learnt. And I don't attempt to soothe the anxious parents anymore before inflicting the pain to their children haha. It's tiring seriously. The key is to make it quicker as possible though sometimes it's not that easy to find those teeny weeny vein.
Anyway, I'm sick. Children make me sick haha. Hopefully I'll be well before oncall. Amin.
Trying to be positive everyday eventhough my life had turn 180 degree the other way round. Things I've never thought will happen well...they happened. Have to be strong for people that I love and love me. InsyaAllah everything will turn fine again.

Lesson learnt

Hi Assalamualaikum.
Just finished my oncall yesterday. It was my second time oncall.  Much busier compared to the previous one. Anyway I'm not going to rant on about how busy I was on that day haha just want to share something on here so that I'll not forget about it in future.
So I was clerking this one particular person in A&E. The mother of a child who had injured his wrist after he fell down from non moving motorcycle. It was late at night and I was already drained out after working for hours. I got pretty annoyed after the mother frequently asked me to repeat my question every damn time. But I had hide it well by keeping my voice tone downed and managed to fake a smile as well haha. Like when I asked how did he fell? She went "Huh?"When I asked whether the motorcycle fell down on her child after that she went with "huh?" while wrinkling her forehead like I was asking some pretty weird question. I'd assumed.  
So while things became silence in the room for a moment while I was writing down the history on the clerking sheet, the mother suddenly told me, "I've pretty bad ears doctor, my hearing isn't normal nowadays. Thank you for not scolding me. Other people won't understand and easily snapped out on me for not listening what they were saying.."
I was so ashamed with myself because I might snapped out on her any time soon at that time. Luckily I was not. Have to remind myself to be patient with others and not letting my stressful working life affect other people as well.
Oh ya, btw I'm currently in Orthopedics posting. *cries*

The Boy in The Stripped Pyjamas


Hey guys.

I just want to share some random things. Well, I just started reading the novel-The Boy in The Stripped Pyjamas which I bought during Big Bad Wolf event at MICC, Serdang about three years ago (2014). Yup, such a hoarder. It was written by John Boyne (like you know who he is haha). While I was strolling around looking for books that I might like\love, believe me it took hours haha, I’d stumbled upon this novel and then it straight away brought back some memories. Few years before that, it was in 2010 I think, one of my closest friends named Fatin had casually asked me on Facebook whether I ever watched a movie of the same title. We used to have frequent silly conversation on FB back then. I proudly told her I had watched it even though I have not. Haha. She knew me well and she has right to be dubious, so she asked me what happened to Bruno (the character in that movie) in the end? It was so easy because I was able to google it in a jiffy before I replied to her the exact answer. She was that gullible I know.  Anyway, I knew it'll be a good read years before from that a few seconds of skimming the plot summary on Wikipedia hence that was how I picked up the book :D
So anyways, after years of keeping this book untouched, I wanted to give it a try. And I tried refraining myself from skipping this book and just watch the movie instead. But I failed. Of course. I had finished the movie today haha and I can say that the movie was nice and I cried. It’s now to pick up the book again and continue the page that I left.

 This story was about a 9 year old boy named Bruno living in Berlin, Germany during holocaust era in 1940s. It started with Bruno being frustrated with his parents for having all the family to move to somewhere far until later on it's mentioned to be Poland. Having him to say goodbye to his best friends, his homier hometown etc. His father had been promoted (as if that's the right word in military) to 'Commandant'. His father was a someone important in the rank of German soldiers who had been appointed by the 'Fury' to carry some duties in some other place. So they needed to move. About the new place, he called the new house "Out-With" which was far different than the previous home. There are no neighbours to begin with. And much smaller in which he found it nuisance. Without his bestfriends that he always played with back in Berlin, he begged his strict non-fatherly Father to move back. He was told to go to his room, alas.

Bruno saw a herd of strange people wearing stripped pyjamas from afar through his small bedroom window. For him, it was weird of course. The nature of him to be an explorer, whilst he was strolling around along the tall fence with barbed wire somewhere nearby, he met a gaunt, bald boy named Shmuel that later on he acknowledged to be his age and surprisingly sharing same birthday with him on the other side of the fence. Day after day, they eventually declared themselves as bestfriend and Bruno agreed to sneak into the other side of the fence to help Shmuel looking for his Papa who he had not seen for few days.

Professor R.J. Lupin in this movie. Well, not his real name of course. He played as Bruno’s father. I used to have crush on him during my Harry Potter’s obsession phase in my life.

Look at how cute he was in Harry Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban 

My post sounds like a diary of 8 year old child who's in love, I know. And I do not know how to fix the wording font, it's a mess!

The interview for housemanship


Okay where to start?

It's now February, 2017. How time flies omaigod! Well, I had finished with my SPA/KKM interview for Pegawai perubatan siswazah about two weeks ago. Few days before the interview, I was 'mildly' panicking as I felt like my mind was blank like did I really learnt anything in 5 years back in medical school time.

Turns out, it was okay alhamdulillah. One of the interviewers who happened to be a medical doctor from KKM initially asked me which CPG (clinical practice guidelines) I had read for the interview on that day. Oh my god. I had read fews but felt like I wasn't confident enough to tell her (by 'few' I mean two haha). I told her I read Management of Dengue, of Type II Diabetes mellitus, hypertension management (this one I lied because last time I read was one year ago for primary care posting exam haha) and she next asked me, "What about typhoid fever?"

I said no. I was thinking that time "Alamak ada ke CPG for typhoid?

Her next question was straight forward, "Tell me about typhoid fever". In my head I was like, "Ya Allah yes!" but still maintained to look calm (a little bit calm) because I had read about the topic one day earlier right before I fell asleep after had done with the house chores. Yes, I had tried to distract myself from the interview by doing house chores. I hoped there will be blessing from God for helping my mom and hopefully my good deed is able to ward off any ObGyn doctor or orthopedics surgeon as one of my interviewers.  Because I never make revision for those two!

Back to the question she asked, I tried to answer her question properly starting from what's typhoid fever, a little bit of the epidemiology (of typhoid being endemic in Malaysia), the microorganism that caused it, its incubation period, its pathophysiology, clinical features etc but I stuck at the management part. Me being a typical average medical student wasn't sure of the name of antibiotic used to treat typhoid in acute presentation in Malaysia. I tried to save myself by saying, "Because Salmonella typhi and paratyphi are Gram negative bacteria, we should use antibiotics that cover these organisms". No wonder Prof Usha (my Paediatric lecturer back in medical school told me sarcastically whenever I gave non-specific answers to her question, "My dear, I love your diplomatic answer" or  "you'll be a great diplomat in future!"

Kay. -_-"

The interviewer, being unsatisfied but still appeared cool, had asked me the next question, "Yes, tell me the name of antibiotic"

I went kamikaze this time, "Azithromycin?"

Then she nodded. Thank God she didn't ask about the treatment for chronic carrier.

Next question was "As a doctor in Hospital Gua Musang, how you manage patient who is found unconscious?"

I went with ABC (plus don't forget glucose) haha. Then I had had a second thought. "Eh should I tell Call for help first?" haha.

In general, she informed me that I have knowledge, but most of them are scattered around. She advised me to  explain the information systematically and revising stuff before the housemenship starts. Was that so obvious? -_-

Alhamdulillah no questions about general knowledge had been asked by another interviewer. No question about ministries' names or rukun negara, or any questions that would falsely or not reflect my patriotic  feeling for my nation. Pheww. Though I became a little suspicious when she asked me what's my favourite colour. It hit my mind that time, "Eh is she trying to read my personality based on my favourite colour?" haha. I told her I do not have favorite colour. Which is true. Omaigod! she might think I have multiple personality. Just kidding. I think she tried to light up the air because she was aware that I was nervous that time. But it actually made me more nervous when she asked me "Why you don't have fav colour?!"  :D


Sometimes I bake: Simple but divine banana loaf with chocolate chips recipe

Divine? Who are you Syafiqah.

So my current pastime activities include watching some random cooking and baking shows on YouTube. I can go up to 3 hours straight without doing anything else and usually I'd fell asleep after that. Last time I was binge watching Kitchen Nightmares and I was kinda deluded, preoccupied with this grandiose thought that I can now run a restaurant...successfully. See what my life has become.

Anyway, I had just recently  been introduced by the Internet to Chef John who now happens to be my favorite chef! Not that I know lots of chefs. Sometimes I watch his cooking videos just for the sake of listening to his narration.And it's not a surprise, there are a lot of viewers who actually doing so too because he's funny.

So I feel like sharing his recipe on how to make banana loaf but I had modified a little bit. A littleeee bit. I'll guarantee you that baking this will boast your confidence and ego. It's an easy recipe but absolutely delicious. Even after making your very first batch you will start thinking "hey maybe I should start bakery business".

For 8 serving *chuckles*

dry ingredients
All purpose flour- 2 cups
Soda bicarbonate- 1 teaspoon
Baking powder- 1 teaspoon
Salt- 1 teaspoon

wet ingredients
5-6 well ripe bananas (when you're living in Malaysia with its wide variety of bananas you must know which banana means business)
200g butter (simply put, a whole pack of butter you usually see at grocery stores--> use 3/4 of it please don't trust my calculation logic)
1/2 cup of sugar (because the banana will add its perfectly sweet taste..maybe just bananas in Malaysia Idk plus this measurement works if you want to put extra and extra choc chips and not wishing to get diabetes mellitus before 40's)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon essence vanilla
1-2 tbsp warm milk
Chocolate chips (I always go crazy with the amount I put but go with 1/3 cup if you're not sure what you want in your life)
Walnuts (it's advisable to put 1 cup)


1- preheat oven (temperature depends on your oven, I always put within the range of 125-150 degree Celsius)
2- By using a hand whisk, mix dry ingredients
3- chop the bananas with wooden spatula or mash 'em with your clean hand, add the butter and the rest of wet ingredients
4- mix the dry ingredients into the wet one. (Add the mixture of flour etc little by little into the buttery mixture)
5- chocolate chips!
6- bake at 125-150 degree Celcius for 1 hour or until it perfectly baked. (confirm by sticking toothpick or your mom's knife at the centre and it should come out clean)

For the original recipe from Chef John, please click here. Hopefully someday I'll be able to follow the recipe obediently, when I'm out of bananas.